No Talent Night

Christopher Rath


  * What's tomorrow, and what have we been celebrating today?
             - JESUS Birthday!

   * But, isn't something wrong?  Are you all sure were doing this
     right? As Mark Woolgar was pointing out today, we don't get given
     gifts at other people's birthdays.
             - Well, how old is Jesus.....a couple of grand?
             - So, if Jesus was George Burns, how would we celebrate?
                  + We'd roast Him!!
                  + We'd tell lots of half true funny stories!!
             - If we all lived in a sitcom then we'd do:
                         "Jesus!! THIS is YOUR...LIFE" . . . .
                  + Little Sarah Finkleman from the 4th grade would
                    come trotting out.

   * Let's all close our eyes and go back to that fateful night with
     the Shepherds
             - God was the same one the old men talked about
             - but there hadn't been a prophet for 500 years.  How do
               you think they might have been
             - dressed in shabby clothes
             - drinking a little home brewed beer while sitting around
               the fire after chow.
   * It would be a quiet night
             - There weren't any ghetto blasters yet!
   * The crickets would be chirping, and the sheep baa-aa-aaing.  And
     suddenly, like a hologram from Star Wars, there would appear this
             - Can't you see the "John Wayne" type shepherd.  The
               Angelic Messenger would appear, and John would be there
               to greet him:  "Howdy Pilgrim."

   * And suddenly, into that quiet peaceful night would come the
     company of angels singing praises to God.
             - Some shepherds would ball face down.  Some would be
               fearful.  Some joyful.
             - Can you see the black sheep?  "It's cool, man.  It's

   * So, from the lowly birth Jesus went on to grow up.
             - I bet Jesus had a strict up-bringing.  My mother always
               tells me how much harder things were in the olden days,
               when she grew up.
                  + I bet that until His homework was done He wasn't
                    allowed to watch TV.
                  + And He probably had to be in off the street by the
                    time the street-lights came on.

   * As the years went by Jesus worked with His father Joseph as a
     carpenter.  I wonder what he made?
             - One American writer (whose name I've forgotten) has
               wondered if He and Joseph ever made crosses for the
             - There are also some New Testament Apocryphal writings
               where the authors tell about Jesus making boards longer
               and such.
             - I bet He didn't make any coffins.  With the power that
               was in Him the dead would probably have come to life.  I
               can imagine an unhappy rich former-widow, or two.

   * I can remember, as a child, asking to sing happy birthday to
     Jesus.  However, as an adult I get embarrassed when someone sings
     happy birthday to me -- and I get really uncomfortable when
     someone sings happy birthday to Jesus.  I get embarrassed for Him.
     But I don't believe He's embarrassed at all.  After all, it is His
   * So let's all sing happy birthday to Jesus; and have one of the
     kids blow out the candles on His cake.

ęCopyright 1989, 2003, Christopher & Jean Rath
Telephone: 613-824-4584
Address: 1371 Major Rd., Ottawa, ON, Canada K1E 1H3
Last updated: 2007/02/16 @ 09:53:03 ( )